My most recent thoughts...

My whole life I have had a plan. I knew when I wanted to get married, have kids, write a book, and when I would be in full time ministry. I had everything figured out. I thought that since my desires where good they would happen when I wanted, but I never asked God what His idea for me was. I have had many disappointments, due to my lack of asking God his intentions for me.

Looking from the outside, I have nothing the world would call successful, but I have the best life. I am only able to say that, because for the first time I get it! I have had a wrong perception of greatness. I view greatness as all my prayers being answered and having huge kingdom impact. Gods definition is someone who seeks Him alone, even in the good, bad, really really bad, and horrible.

We are meant to live a life seeking intimacy and passion for Jesus. When we are seeking these things, everything else fades from our focus. I am not saying your desires go away, mine haven't, but your opinion of God is not based on when or if they happen. When you seek God alone, you find the freedom of love and trust. You begin to understand that He will not love you more if you speak to 1000 people or 2 people. He just wants your heart to be for Him, not what He can use you to do.

I believe we are meant to ask for the fulfillment of dreams and promises, but not at the cost of knowing who we serve. If you do not know who God is and ALL His thoughts towards you, than what good is a big ministry or the "perfect" life? If we truly are living for what is to come in eternity, than shouldn't our focus be on the one we will fellowship with for eternity?

My opinion is it is time to stop having a "me" focused Christianity. It is not about what you do, it is about Him. This is a basic truth that we all have the head knowledge of, yet we still waste our lives seeking selfish ambition. So lets change. Instead of praying " God, will you use me to do this? Will you give me this?" Lets pray, "God, I want to know your heart, your desire, your passion for my city, your passion for me. Let me love You more." I challenge you to change your approach and let God be the one who defines your life.