Journey

It was only a year ago that I was sitting at IHOP-KC crying out to God for my friends, for my future, unsure of what was next. It was a year ago that my heart was so broken and unsure of your love. It was a year ago that prayer was my constant battle. The longing of my heart was for you, but the action of seeking you was a constant battle. I would cry out in the night feeling that you were so far from me, convinced You could not hear my feeble prayers. I was consumed with loneliness on a spiritual level. It was another dark valley.
I have had a few of these valleys in my life thus far. Times of wanting to be close to God and not knowing how, of wanting His friendship to be enough, but not seeing how that could ever be possible. It was a year ago I determined to find Him. I had to know this God I had given my life to.
This morning I sit on the verge of tear with a heart overflowing with gratitude. I look back and see the richest year I have yet had spiritually. I am tearing up as I think of how good God has been to me. He has shown up at just the right time. He allowed me to walk through the valley to awaken my hunger. He allowed a taste of His goodness, followed by a season of longing for more. He taught me to find my joy in the seeking as much as in the sitting before Him. I am grateful. I am in love with a good God who has beauty beyond measure.
116. My wonderful God who has shown Himself faithful
117. Break through
118. A heart overflowing with Joy
119. the song "Hallelujah Jesus" by Evan Wickham
120. My best friend and beautiful Saviour, He is changing me.