Portland Here I Come!

My three months ends today. I am about to head out the door to our final Commission Class. It is impossible for me to put into words all God has done in my heart. I came here, because I knew it was what God wanted. I had no clue about the class, the people I would live with, or where anything was. Now I am leaving loving my class, the people and anticipating coming back in a month. God has been more than good to me.
In the last few months I have learned to let my guard down. I have learned to trust. Most importantly I have learned the love of God, even in my weakness. I am still changing and I still have a ways to go, but I am in process.
I believe that no matter where we are in live we can have a thriving relationship with God. We can become the people He created us to be and we can do it without strife. We simply have to trust Him. When we do we see that it is all worth it.
I know I am going home changed. I am going home more in love with my God than any other time in my life. I am ready. Thank you God....

A full Heart

I will be in Portland in 2.5 days. My week has been full of renewal meetings, prayer room time, friends, and my visiting family(dad and cousin). As I reflect on all that God has done this week I cannot being anything but grateful. He has dug deep into my heart to make more room for Himself. Old ways of thinking are being torn down layer by layer and I am becoming even more aware of how tenderly He deals with His kids. I love the Lord so much, my heart is so full! I feel so free to believe His good plans for my life. I feel so free to expect the very best. I finally see that His gifts are out of love and they will never disappoint.
81. Gods dealings
82. Tears...God created me to be tender and He has given that back to me.
83. Seeing God touch my dad and greg while they were hear.
84. Laughing so hard you cry. (dad and greg are out of control)
85. God knowing I needed someone to pray for me, even though I was to proud to ask.
86. Good gifts from heaven
87. A journal full of ups and downs
88. Peace
89. Videos of Elli "kissing" her doll
90. Talking to my 6yr old niece and knowing she has already planned a girls day for us

I love Multitude Monday

I cannot believe how much has changed in a weeks time. One thing I am so sure of is Gods perfect timing. He stretches us so that we will trust more and He always comes through. I have seen this time and time again. I have so much to praise God for.
66. His plans and purpose being revealed one step at a time
67. Supportive and amazing parents
68. Gods provision
69. A great time praying with new friends
70. Knowing God made me specifically the way He wanted me
71. Seeing young people free in the Lord
72. All God is doing in Missouri
73. The confidence to speak to God about everything and knowing He hears all my words
74. Freedom from past wounds
75. Cold crisp weather
76. Multitude Mondays, it always is an encouragement to me
77. Talking to Brian about service while he watches over the web
78. Listening to sermons from home
79. My daddy coming to see me and treat me like a queen. I love that guy.
80. Never settling.

Scars

Last night I was at church and I was just feeling down. I was not sure what it was, but there was a heaviness over me. I could not shake it. I asked a girl to pray for me and for the most part it lifted, but I could still sense it. Towards the end of the evening all my friends had gone home and I was sitting surrounded by people I did not know, I asked God to reveal the source of this rejection issue. I wanted to know why I was always feeling second best. Instantly a situation came into my mind where I was hurt by a friend (emotionally, we all know I am buff). I had never connected the two things, but this situation seriously altered my view of myself. I began to sob uncontrollably. I asked God to break it once and for all. As quickly as it came it lifted. The tears dried up and I was free.
Today I woke up feeling free in my heart. Free to trust and free to be myself. I felt worthy and not second class. Sometimes even when we forgive people the scars still cause pain. I know that when I had stitches on my leg the scar hurt for a good year afterwards. When it comes to matters of the heart we need God to come and touch our scars. He must touch those scars so that we do not base every situation on the one time pain. I know that He can do it. He did it for me. Ask him to show you the hidden scars that need healed, He will touch you!

Quick Blog

Quick Update: God is doing incredible things here at IHOP. I am so excited about all He has done even in me. I know that even though I love Him there has been walls up in my heart. I am afraid of being disappointed. God has broken those down this week. I have never been so full of joy in my life. I may not know fully what my life will be, but since taking the step of faith to move here God has been pouring over me. I believe so strongly in the goodness of God!! Even this morning I was reminded of a prophetic word I received years ago about God making my path smooth. He is! I encourage you to submit yourself to the Lordship of Christ, there is no better way to live! May the joy of the Lord find you!
Services at IHOP are free to watch online www.IHOP.org

Obey

For weeks I have been wrestling with what God wants me to do. Truth be told I am not big on leaving my comfort zone. I like things the same. I like living near family. I like going to church and seeing the same beautiful people. I like the routine of work. I like having a sense of whats next.
Being in Missouri has been the opposite of comfort. I came knowing only the Groves who are an hour away. I had to learn how to live just me and God. It was so difficult, but I knew God was preparing me. I knew the first time I came here I would end up here one day. I applied for Commission at the leading of God and I thought I would go and than return to comfort, but God has other plans for me. He knows that more than I love comfort I love to please Him. I want to live for Him no matter what that means. For this current season it means another leap of faith. It means returning home for the holidays only to come back. It means staying until God says move. It means making friends all over again. It means growing even more in my passion for God. He is faithful, He always has been. I am not affraid of being uncomfortable because I have seen the beauty it draws out.
So I am doing it.... I am going to move.... I am going to leap... I am going to obey...

It's Monday!!

This weekend I learned two important things. On Saturday I was feeling lonely, which lead to an awesome prayer time. I left that time knowing God was with me in every situation. On Saturday night and Sunday afternoon God blessed me with an amazing time with friends, new and old. I walked away from the weekend reassured in my heart of Gods tender heart towards me. I also learned that He is worth it everyday, whether good or bad. I have so much to be thankful for.
44. Friends new and old
45. My mom who has taught me the joy of serving God
46. Switch- I love that ministry so much and I know God has good things for it.
47. The tenderness of God
48. The joy of worship
49. Lunch with people from across the world
50. Going to a movie with the Groves
51. I am thankful God has kept me healthy this season
52. Text messages from my dad. It still cracks me up that he texts
53. God being so kind that He will take away anything that hinders our love
54. That fact that people come from around the world just to pray
55. Hope for tomorrow
56. Coffee
57. The encouragement of a true friend. Chrissy I love you:)
58. Fresh revelation on the book of James
59. The whole bible...even though reading through Leviticus is a little difficult it is cool to see how clear God makes things for the Children of Israel just so he can be near them.
60. Abby coming downstairs yesterday to tell me all about the zoo
61. My niece thinking I am the best seamstress in our family (wrong)
62. The freedom to worship in America
63. Letters in the mail from friends
64. Cereal- The worlds best snack
65. Gods guidance