Nothing Else Will Do

The roller coaster has continued in my life. I face the glaring reality that my life is a mystery every single day. I have come to realize that my identity cannot be found in today or tomorrow, but in serving Christ. I am not sure why the simplest truths take the longest to learn, but I know now more than ever that my peace, my worth, my true identity can only be found in God. The more I seek to figure things out on my own or find fulfillment on my own the more miserable I become. The more I give in to God and His love the more I become true to who I am created to be. As His love transforms me daily I see that peace comes in knowing Him, not in knowing what tomorrow brings. Dreams are fulfilled in trusting Him, not in pushing for my own way. So in my seemingly long season of waiting I am giving up. I am giving up trying to figure any of it out. I am going to focus on one thing, falling on love with Christ. If knowing Him is truly what it is all about than I do not want my eyes on anything else. He knows my heart, my desires and His promises to me. He will make it happen, He will hasten the day. I am making a choice to rest in that and know Him more. In the end nothing else will do.

Seeking God.

What do you do when you know what God has for you and yet do not see it come to pass?? I have fasted, prayed, cried, begged, thanked, spoken in faith, taken communion, and cried some more. Now what? I know God hears me(sometimes it is hard to believe) and I know that He has the best in store for my life(sometimes a stretch too) but His timing MAKES NO SENSE! So now what?
My answer is trust, let go and wait some more. I am learning that I have no clue why things are the way they are. Why life seems to just open for one person while another has to fight at every turn. I do not know why Gods plan for me is what it is, but I must cling to that fact that it is good. I am proclaiming things that I do not see, I am standing when all I want to do is run and hide, I am giving God everything and expecting Him to move. I am sure that soon I will see a break through, but man this is tough.

Gems

It has been awhile. It seems as though I have had a season of silence. Many questions have risen in my heart, but some much needed clarity has been given too. As I type this blog I am just beginning to understand what God is doing in my life. I live a seemly normal life. I do not have much when you look at me. I work a normal job and I live Ina normal house. I am not rich, but I don't go without. What people don't see is my heart. My passion to please God and live fully in His will. People who know me know I constantly fight to figure out what God could possibly have in store for me. Today I can see clearly. I know just what God is doing in me. He is chipping away at me. What do I mean??? I am seemly normal but inside me is a gem of beauty. A gem that reflects the beauty of God. He is chipping away the ugly parts and even though I am a flawed gem He calls me lovely and calls me His. My life is normal but God is reflected in me. That is who I am. It is not easy when God is at work, sometimes it hurts but I know it is good and I would not trade it.

Mexico and Back

It was a month ago when Jody (bro in law) called me and asked if I would consider going with a team to Mexico. He had just been feeling like this might be something God wanted for me to do. Within a week I had the time off, a prophetic word about going and two supporters! Crazy miracles were happening!! So off to Mexico!!
I was in Juarez, Mexico with a team of 8 people for 5 days. I went in knowing only my bro Jody and a guy I had known as a kid, but not seen in nearly a decade. I was nervous to say the least, but with in five minutes of meeting everyone we were a team, a family. We built, prayed, preached, played and had a great time. I have so much to say about Mexico, but not the words at this time. Soon though:)
To all who supported me in prayer and finacially THANK YOU!!! God is doing great things!

FIrst 2011 Blog

The New Year has begun with a lack of blogging on my part. It has seemed as though time is flying and I am running to catch up. I am unsure of how to begin. My desire for 2011 is a whole hearted pursuit of God and what is next for my life. I never want to settle, but continually challenge myself to grow.
Some battles from 2010 have tried to creep in and I have fought them off in my own strength, failed, and had to release them to the Lord again. I remember that it is the same enemy, with the same tricks, trying to trap me into a very second rate existence. Luckily, it is also the same God, with unchanging love and strength, fighting for me. He is good.
This being said what will 2011 hold for me?? Is a move in my future or a deeper planting in KC?? Missions? Church Planting? Houses of Prayer? What is in store for me?!? Honestly, I have no clue. I am learning to wait for open doors and right timing. This is not easy for me. I want a clear word from God saying, "GO HERE NOW". Let me tell you this has not happened yet. What has happened is new opportunities being laid before me. I have entered a new season filled with grace and open doors. Through prayer I know that I will walk through the correct doors and He will close the wrong ones. I am so excited to see what is next!! It is a thrill to know that God has a plan and is the one in control. The seasons have changed and good things are coming for me, for my life.